She Really Was The Glue

Where to start? There's a plethora of news to share. Well, news isn't quite the word I'm going for. But information. Things are changing. A storm...is brewing...or something mysterious like that.

First things first. *sips my coffee* How are things? It's been a while, this I know. I really don't have an excuse other than the norm. I'm busy, I'm lazy, well I'm a lot of things and diligent isn't one of them. Sorry 'bout that.

Let me bring you up to speed on things. I have been increasingly unhappy with my current place of employment. I actually quite enjoy my job, or at least I enjoy learning about the industry. My job title is Loan Closer/Processor II, the actual duties of my job are quite mundane. I basically accept loan applications, process them (gather info and run the background/credit check) before sending them to a loan officer for approval/denial. Once an approved app comes back, I create the legal docs and docs for recording etc. Send them to the borrower for their signatures, about 90% of my clients are not in Juneau, I deal with rural Alaska and so their loans are processed via mail. I do a few other tedious tasks throughout the month, but that is the gist of it.

On top of the boring aspect I work in an office of workaholics. My boss and the woman that has seniority over me in my section rarely miss a day of work. My boss will take the occasional mental health day, but the co-worker does not. She got married last year and didn't even take a whole day, just a half day. I mean come on! Oh but her cat died a few months ago and she took two days off... go figure.

Neither of them have kids like I do, in fact they've expressed dislike for children in general. I've heard on more than one occasion: "and that is why I don't have kids" add a seriously disrespectful tone and you've got one offended mother (that'd be me). Due to my children and my own health (among other unforeseen circumstances) I have missed work here and there. Nothing too horrible, but I hate the feeling of missing just one day and coming back to the silent treatment. I'm sorry, but I refuse to sacrifice my own health or the health of ALL my coworkers (like some people. ahem.). I absolutely get so irritated when my above mentioned co-worker comes to work with bronchitis or flu symptoms or other things that she frequently does. This is why we have 5 weeks of leave per year people! jeez.

OK so I'm not a workaholic, that is clear. The other thing that bugs me in the office is the buddy buddy nature of the two people I previously mentioned. My boss and my co-worker. They chat constantly about everything. Not only that, I've learned things about my other co-worker that I shouldn't be aware of. These are things that should be kept between him and our supervisor. But our supervisor shares these details with the other girl who then proceeds to try and gossip about him with me! I put my foot down about this recently and she stopped for a while. But that doesn't mean they have stopped. And it makes me wonder what gets said about me behind my back.

The catty nature of the office is enough to make me miserable. Add in the other few things and I'm downright irritable these days. I finally bit the bullet and looked at other state jobs online last Monday. Turns out there was this one job I am super qualified for and I'll make a tad bit more than I do now, plus there's travel involved which seems exciting. Not to mention I would actually have interaction with the clients! I think that is what I've been missing, I spent soooo many years in customer service that this job was a drastic change. The application period happened to close that same day, so instead of taking time to think about what I was doing...I did it. Now I'm just waiting to hear about an interview. My sources say I am a shoe in, that this department has been waiting for someone like me for a while now.

So we'll see.

On top of all that, I felt a bit unsure about looking for work right now. The reason being is that Tim and I have been considering relocating back to Seattle. It's going to take quite a bit of planning. My worry is that I apply for this job and get it...then we decide "ok! let's do it!" about the move...then I'm leaving the new job high and dry. We have good jobs and family (and a potentially better job in the works!). I really want to be back in Seattle, but at the same time I'm realistic. So even though we want it, well it's on the back burner for now...

Just to push the dream of Seattle a little further down the road we've decided to put an offer on a condo. Tomorrow. Tim's idea is we'll buy this condo and stay in it for a short time building equity while we continue to save for our move then when we sell the condo for what we buy it for, we'll have a bit of moolah for a down payment on the RIGHT place. The problem I keep bringing up is that I want to move like yesterday! lol. Buying a place means at LEAST another year here and realisticly? Probably more. In order to build enough equity, we'd need to stay a substantial amount of time. You know how it goes. I mean we won't be in it forever, the main reason being it's a condo the size of our current apartment. And it's only two bedrooms. We will eventually need to migrate to something with three cuz the kids will be needing their own space one day. So conceivably we could be back in Seattle in about 4-5 years with a pocket full of cash from our sold condo and be prepared to buy the house of our dreams...

You tell me, what do you think of this plan? Yah I know, on paper it seems good. Sounds great! But I miss the friends I have in Seattle, I'm pretty lonely here save for Tim, the kids and some family. I rarely see anyone these days unless it's a holiday.

It's sad but everyone seems to be going their own way these days. My sisters both talk of leaving town like I do and have their own lives. I see them occassionally and talk to them via email mostly because we're too busy to see eachother in person. The aunts keep to themselves with their own families and friends seeing us on certain occasions. And they've all hinted at future endeavors outside of Juneau. It's like when my mom died, so did the rest of the family, or at least the the family time. It's been said before, and now I say it too...she was the glue that held this family together. There are no more game nights, rarely do we get together for birthdays (ok well maybe we do lunch for those), less phone calls...everything just seems so. broken.

I keep waiting for something to change but part of me has been thinking that all these things I talked about are signs from my mom telling me to stay in Juneau for a while. She loved it here. She loved the family. The current state of affairs would probably have her in pieces.

It's a lot like this printer on my desk. I got it from my mom's house when she died. Every once in a while (when it's turned off) it makes a sound like it's trying to start up or do...something. It clicks to life for a few seconds and then it's as if nothing happened. Tim and I joke that it's my mom's spirit trying to come out of her printer to tell us something.

See? Maybe there is such a thing as a sign.

Tell me what you think. Do you believe in signs? Or are you a realist like Tim? He doesn't believe in signs. :)

Nighty Night!

Yay! for Sun!

I can't believe this weather!

This 'n' That But Not Much Else

Howdy folks! Wow I'm so sorry about the time lapse. It has been so sunny and gorgeous outside here in Juneau that I just haven't had the motivation to think up something creative.

It's still sunny out, well not right now because it's 11:24pm, but it is still darn warm. It's been more than a week with consistent temperatures in the high 70s and low 80s. And just for the record, I still haven't come up with something creative!

On Tuesday I played hooky from work and Tim had the day off so we took the kids over to Twin Lakes for some swimming. It felt so great and I didn't even go all the way in! Tim took a dive into the water and the kids sat in it, but I only went up to my thighs cuz I didn't want to take off my shorts to reveal a swimsuit. Eeyuck! You don't want to see that! lol

After some swimming we went to Costco for some smoothies because let's face it, Costco has pretty good smoothies for less than $2 and there's a ton in the cup! We''re in an economic crisis here people!

Other than the couple hours we took the kids out that day, we haven't done anything real exciting.

Let me get you up to speed since it's been like 3 weeks since we've talked....

1. Found a new day care for the kiddos, they seem to really like it and they like having other children their age to play with. I'm still crossing my fingers that we made the right decision.

2. The fourth of July:

We took the kids to the fireworks on the 3rd (yes. Juneau rolls like that). This was a mistake cuz they don't start til midnight and we had a real cranky young man the next morning.

On the 4th was the parade downtown. However, since my son was cranky enough to punch me, he stayed home with his daddy while I took Fia to the parade. That right there was pretty odd. I didn't like the feeling of leaving some of the fam behind. I guess he shaped up after we left, so we all went to the beach after the parade to attempt swimming. But the tide wasn't out far enough and the beach we chose is really rocky and covered in barnacles/seaweed which is slippery and sharp! So no swimming. The kids were sad, but they got over it. haha I'm so mean.

hmm let's see.

3. Reagan has continued to be aggressive and surly. No real news there, just more of the same.

4. Sofia is SOOO close to being potty trained. I can't tell you how excited I am to get rid of diapers! Not too much longer for that wish to come true. Yay!

5. Um, did I mention the sun? Yah, it's super sunny everyday and warm! Actually, I could go for just one day of rain as a reprieve. Then we can get back to the summer weather. I'd be good with one cloudy/rainy day a week just to break up the heat a bit. Also, I got a sunburn...it's faded now, but I looked like a lobster from the chest up.

6. Had our last Relay for Life team meeting on Wednesday this week. Well it's the last before the actual Relay. I can't believe it's next week! Ack, seriously slacking on the fundraising. As a team we've raised a bit more than $1500, but personally I've only raised maybe $30 on my own. I need to get crack-a-lackin!

7. Tim and I have talked and talked about where our lives are going. I really want to move back to Seattle some time in the next year, but Tim seems to want to stay here. We're working on it.

8. I was talking with my co-workers today that it's already mid July! Crap, it's almost fall, which means it's almost the holidays...ok that's a stretch, but fo' realz yo, it's coming up fast!

9. I've been reading the blogs of all my pals via my mobile phone. I can access google reader on the go! Yippee! So even when I'm out playing or waiting in the car while Tim runs into a store I can keep up with all the happenings without actually turning on the computer... I think this may be a partial contributor to my laziness when it comes to blogging.

10. How could I forget? My favorite artist/entertainer/musician MJ passed away. Luckily I got to check out the televised memorial (and cry my eyes out) on the day I played hooky...hehe. That wasn't planned, but it worked out well for me. I am still saddened by the loss, and I am really getting tired of the media coverage, let the man rest in peace. It's sickening really. Whatever the cause of death was doesn't matter to the world that loved him. Let the family deal with it and focus on the sweet children he left behind. Poor kids.

Ok. I'm done on that rant...sorry I digress.

11. Lastly, I'm applying for a second job. Actually I have an interview Monday. In some serious need for extra cash due to new child care being more than double what we used to pay, and I have bill collector's breathing down my neck. So for now it looks like I'll be picking up a couple extra shifts somewhere soon. Very soon. Well, hopefully.

So I think that now you may be all caught up in my life. This is thrilling stuff I know. Can't contain yourself? Tell me about it. Please! I'm longing for some exciting comments. Also just to keep you from being bored, here's a list of some of my fave blogs, check 'em out for me, tell them I said "hi":

• Angie at A Book A Day (witty, funny and great book reviews! This crazy chica actually finds the time to do just what the title implies...she reads a book a day...)
• MyLittleBecky at I'll Go Eat Worms (hilarious, check out her out..she cracks me up!)
• Maxie at I Hate So Much.. (Check out her Too Much Information Thursdays! It'll make you crap your pants...ahem. figuratively speaking of course)
• A shout out to my sis, she doesn't keep up on her blog (she's slower than me!) but she always comes up with something witty, clever and funny! Oh You Pretty Thing....
• And of course, I've told you about Tova at The Secret Life of Tova Darling, she's still awesome.
  

Not sure if some of the other peeps in my fam dam want the recognition or not, but I enjoy their posts too. For more interesting people (that must be cool, cuz I read them!) check out the list up and to your right. ------->

Peace out my homies! I'm in a silly mood and need to get off this thing before my eyes pop out of their sockets! I leave you with something to make you laugh (trust me, this wasn't the worst shot, but I'm not going to humiliate myself for the sake of a laugh)...