My list of totally unrelated topics that I happen to love at the moment

I feel like listing everything that I'm totally feeling (ie: into. digging. want to cover in kisses) these days. For whatever reason, I'm not really feeling up to the seriousness of a meatier topic. Bare (or is it bear? eh. evs) with me all you carnivores, those posts that you used to savor will return! You have my word!

Without further adieu, I present to you MY LIST of totally unrelated topics that I happen to love at the moment:

1. OK, apparently lists are something I can't get enough of. My last post was a list. This is a list. I've been known to make a list or two. Could there be more in the future? Stay tuned!

2. Is it weird that I am totally infatuated with Kim Kardashian and her sisters Kourtney and Kloe? I can't help it! Their just so gosh darn pretty (aw shucks!). I am obsessed with Keeping Up With the Kardashians (for you slow pokes, that is their reality show on E!), I've seen just about every episode and I am now patiently waiting for the new season to start. Not only that, but Kourtney and Kloe Take Miami also premieres soon! woot woot! Double the Kardashian silliness!

Today I was looking at the gossip websites working diligently and I came across the fact that Kourt is preggers! Didn't know this, but apparently she is about five months. So that will add some fun drama and extra craziness! Looking forward to it!

um also, I totally love Kimmy's (yes. I like to refer to her as if I personally know her. You got a problem?) blond hair! That's the hotness! meow! (over compensating for my jealousy)
3. Beyonce's HALO. Love that song. Can't get enough of it. Well. That's not entirely true. I play it on repeat about 100 a few times and then I have to change it...you get what I'm telling you son!?!

4. Tiger Week. (see previous post or go VISIT MAXIE after you're done here of course) Damn cuddly ass tigers and their obvious bad assery!

5. My Timmy Tim Tim. He's just so gosh darn cute. Right now he's playing his gey-tar and that makes him kinda sexy too. Have you heard his music yet? No? Well WTF are you waiting for? Get the hell outta here and go listen to his MySpace page! The linky is up in the top left of my pagey-poo. Oh. wait. don't go. I'm sorry if I was rude. I just get so worked up over these things, I didn't mean to yell. I promise.

6. Coffee! Late night coffee is great!!! Well it's great anytime...But that's not really a surprise now is it? I'm drinking it right now if you must know. Got the hazelnut creamer in it. Want some? Too bad, I drank it all.

7. Really digging this whole blogging scene. Meeting new bloggers and reading what they have to say. or. not to say. It really depends on the person.

8. Ice Cream. Not just any ice cream but MINTCHOCOLATECHIP!! Is there any other? Tim's been on the same kick as me. We've gone through like 3 tubs in the last 2 weeks. Now that is cray-zay!

oh hello 10 pounds! where'd you come from? I'd like you to meet the other 40 I gained in the last 3 years. (hey! don't judge. I have 2 kids dammit)

9. Friends re-runs. I love this show (Chandler's such a cutie puh-toot-ie) and after it ended I went for a few years without watching it. Recently I came across an episode (you know the one with the chick and the duck? classic) and I've been hooked on them. again. ever since. I really need to pick these up on dvd.

10. Kung Pao Chicken. Only the best Chinese dish ever. There's a place in town that makes an awesome version of it... trust me, I know better than to eat this all the time. But a girl can dream can't she? I happened to eat it for lunch today with one of the cuz's. I'd been wanting it for weeks! finally I succumbed to temptation.

11. Princess tails. My daughter's version of pig tails or pony tails. Her hair is getting long and plum ripe for the tails. Only problem is she wasn't having any of it...until mommy got crafty and called them by her alltimefavorite name (princess. duh.). Now she wears them with no fussing/tearing them out by the root. And she looks so gosh darn cute in them. See? (look down)
12. Alvin and the Chipmunks. There I said it. My kids have played the damn cd incessantly until the cover of Livin' on a Prayer is burned in my brain!

Now it is just plain adorable to hear my little tots sing along to the 'munks version of Journey's Don't Stop Believing. They're counting the days til the Chipmunks Squeakual I might add. *squeeze*

13. ANYTHING cooking and/or food related. (are you surprised? no? me either) My personal faves? Chopped, Iron Chef America, Throwdown With Bobby Flay, The Next Food Network Star (over. BTW.), 30 Minute Meals, Unwrapped, and Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives....just to name a few.
Can I make it to fifteen?? We'll see!

14. Facebook and more specifically. the Sorority Life app on FB (GD to H-E-double hockey sticks...I need a life!!). What is it about social networking sites that draw me in? And I normally hate. HATE! adding apps to my shiz-nit. But the Sorority Life is so flippin' addictive and I can't help myself. I need help. Follow me on Facebook? Please? Go there. Now. or later. whichever. it's up to you, I'm not forcing it. BTW you can click on my face over there up and to the right---> just in case you needed assistance in finding me.

I am proud to say that I have YET to sign up for Twitter. *no applause necessary* thank-yooou.

15. The FUTURE! I've been obsessed over a number of things future related lately. No details yet. But things are totally looking up in a number of areas. Go ME! Trust me, you'll hear about them when the time is right.

16. Colored eyeliner. Specifically violet and blue. I think the violet suits me better, but the blue is kinda tacky funky. Me likey.

YEEESSSSS! I made it past the glorious fifteen!!! woooooo hooooooo! 16. I so rock. So did this captivate you long enough? No? Well I believe I gave you numerous options to look into. So go do those things now, okay?

LOVE YOU all.
And I really have no idea why I uncapped the word "all" but now that I've mentioned it, I'll leave it that way. OK? OK. *waves*

Good bye.

See ya!

Get outta here!

Oh! PS. Maybe I'll make a list about things I totally AM NOT digging on soon. We'll see. Or maybe I'll get started on that meat... To meat or not to meat...? You tell me. Please weigh in on your opinions. I live to entertain YOU. *hugs*

Tigers 10, Sharks 0

What I am going to love most about this post is the fact that random people will stumble upon it and say "WTF??"

The top ten list that proves Tigers are better than Sharks is as follows:

10. The Tiger is chosen as mascot 100x (no joke!!) over the shark. The list is so long that I will not repeat it, but wikipedia does a nice job for me. Google says the shark has one. Just one. The San Jose Sharks. It's an NHL team. Go figure.
9. While much is unknown about the mating habits of sharks, there is some information regarding the rituals of the tiger shark (what a co-inki-dink!). Wikipedia says: "The male uses its teeth to hold the female still during the procedure, often causing the female considerable discomfort." ouch!

Whereas the mating gestures of a Tiger are much gentler. Tigers have been known to use different positions as well as experiment with location, OK experiment is a stretch... but! Tigers have been known to do it anywhere the mood strikes, whether in a tree or on a rock or behind the bush... Both genders actually vocalize (moans and roars) during mating, in fact it's been documented that a female has roared 69 times in less than 15 minutes.

Now you tell me, which sounds like more fun? Sounds like a night at my place... what?

8. Sharks have gills. Gills are ugly. Tigers have a cute breathing apparatus called a nose.

7. Tigers have the ability to look scary or as cute as a button whenever they feel like it. Sharks on the other hand always look scary. See? Nothing cuddly about the guy on the left. He's butt-ugly!

6. In the 1983 film Scarface, the protagonist, Tony Montana, aspires to obtaining all the exterior trappings of the American Dream, which in the character's opinion included keeping a pet tiger on his property. Did he want a shark? Hells to the no!

5. Tigger, Hobbes (Calvin and Hobbes), and Tony the Tiger ... nuf said. Umm sharks, well, all I could find was Sherman from Sherman's Lagoon.

4. Can you think of any famous people, let alone normal people, with the name Shark? I didn't think so. Boo-ya!

3. Tiger cubs are totally dependent on their mommas until about 18 months of age. Baby sharks are on their own from day one. Tigers know that mommy knows best! Leave it to the shark to abandon their babies...sheesh!

2. Tigers are open minded and don't discriminate. They'll cross breed with other big cats. Ever heard of a Liger or Tigon? Gotta give props to the Tiger for lovin' on the Lions cuz these big buggers are cute!

(also, and this could be it's own spot on the list however, I don't want people to think I'm weird cuz I focus too much on Tiger sexual habits. But Tigers are known to masturbate and females can have orgasms by themselves!! I mean come on right?!? Speaking from experience...that's just awesome.)

And last but not least, the number ONE reason the Tiger rocks over a shark:

1. You can't cuddle with a shark. You can try, but I wouldn't recommend it. Yeah sure, Tigers aren't always friendly towards man...but they have been known to be kept as pets. So there is potential.

Ok, if you really MUST know WTF this was all about. Go say hi to Maxie and check out Tiger Week. You can learn a whole bunch of reasons why Tigers deserve more love than Sharks.
DOOO IT!!!!

And remember: "He who rides a tiger is afraid to dismount." ~Ancient Chinese Proverb

The Break Room (another TAT adventure)

Keeping in tune with my last Totally Awkward Tuesday post I am going to talk to you about another awkward moment from my days at the movie theater. Today is a two-for you lucky ducks you! I've decided that since I have TWO fantastical moments pertaining to the same room (read on, I'll get to explaining soon), I will go ahead and share them both with you today. This is actually more for me. I'd like to spare myself the agony of rehashing old memories that quite frankly, aren't looked upon fondly (I say that, but really, they do make me chuckle...now).

As you know, well you WOULD know if you read my blog regularly. ahem.

As I was saying, as you know I worked at one of Juneau's two movie theaters. From about the age of 15 until I was 18 (with a brief stint at 19 when I came home from college, but I digress. I do that often in case you haven't noticed.).

I started out working at the theater in the concession stand. Later I was promoted to usher duties and then I got to work the coveted box office. These were not monetary promotions, the only raise I got was in my pride. We hated working in concession, for obvious reasons (the smell of popcorn was permanently scorched into my nostrils, for one).

My first supervisor (I won't name names. You never know who'll come across this blog!) was rather creepy, OK maybe creepy isn't very nice. Well, yeah, creepy. There's no mincing words here. I'll explain: He was a dork, to put it bluntly. He was tall and lanky, had big square framed glasses and held his too tight black jeans up with big belt buckles while tucking in whatever polo shirt he was wearing for the day. On top of that his jeans were tapered...ew. He was older, maybe in his late 20s or early 30s. Think: D&D, Magic and trench coats. This supervisor tried desperately to fit in with his employees which only served to drive him further away from us.

To make a weird situation worse, he appeared to have a crush on each of the girls at one point in time. So occasionally we'd catch him staring. Once while I was washing the nacho cheese cooker in the back he rubbed up a little to close for my personal comfort as he passed behind me to get by. *shudder*

Eventually he was transferred out to the larger theater in the valley (we all had a huge sigh of relief!) and my buddy Sky became the new supe.

*Side note* I hear he married one of his employees from the valley theater. She is a girl I went to high school with. No joke!

None of us actually came into work already dressed for work. The uniform was black pants, button up white shirt and a maroon vest (later they added bow ties, THANK GOODNESS that was after I was outta there!). Most of my cohorts were like me, we kept our uniforms in our lockers upstairs in the break room and brought them home every couple days for a washing. We would lock the door and change there.

The break room was dingy and at the top of the stairs right next to the entrance of the 2nd story theater. The door to the break room had those hinges that automatically swing shut behind you, so if we weren't careful the door would slam loudly behind us (we were constantly being told never to forget this while a movie was showing in the upstairs theater, apparently movie goers found the loud BANG disturbing). The room consisted of decades old recliners, a wall of small lockers and an old desk. The walls were lined with old movie posters and the carpet hadn't been changed since the 1960s (my guess, but really it could have been longer). At one end of the room was the "cup room." A door that usually stayed locked until we needed to get more cups for the concession stand.

It was in this room that my two stories take place.

Awkward Story Number One:
I bounded up the stairs in my usual happy-go-lucky way. It was a great day to be alive, I was 15 and it was summer time. The fact that I had a crush on one of my co-workers made me LOVE coming to work, well at least on the days we worked together. Today was one of those days and I was on top of the world. I was humming some song to myself as I let myself into the break room. As usual I locked the door behind me and walked to my locker. I noticed the cup room door was open but didn't think anything of it because we'd been doing monthly inventory the night before.
I pulled out the usual pieces of clothing needed for a night on the job and tore off the summer frock I had on. I proceeded to sing to myself (it was roughly 1995, I'm guessing it was either a Salt N Peppa tune or maybe Boyz II Men, I really dunno, this is purely speculation at this point). I got dressed and headed back downstairs to flirt with my crush before the shift started.
I had just arrived at the bottom of the stairs when I realized I needed to talk to my supervisor about a shift swap but no one knew where he was. Oh well, I'll talk to him later I thought to myself. About 30 seconds later we hear the break room door slam shut and said supe starts walking down the stairs carrying a stack of....cups.
Wait wuh?
That's when it hit me. Crap! I'd just gotten dressed while creepy guy here was in the next room with the door wide open! He never admitted that he saw me. But I swear later on that night I heard him humming the same tune I'd been singing to myself earlier.

OK, so that was more "freaky deeky" than awkward. But my face was burning as my coworkers figured it out for themselves what had happened.


Awkward Story Number Two:
I had just opened the door to the break room to get dressed for my shift. When, what to my wondering eyes should appear, a moon of a guy which was really his rear!
"Holy crap!! Get outta here!" Is along the lines of what I heard.
It took only seconds to realize I'd walked in on my coworker (Dumb, from my previous TAT post. Look it up.) getting dressed. He had his pants down around his ankles and as he screamed (like a girl I might add) he yanked them back up.
I quickly made haste and retreated to the safety of the hallway. Shutting the door tightly behind me as I quickly burst into a fit of laughter.
Of course it was slightly embarrassing to walk in on him that way, but I was no where near as embarrASSed (couldn't resist) as he was at that moment. Being the teenager I was, I quickly ran down to share with my coworkers the f*n funny moment I'd just witnessed.
The one thing none of us could figure out was why did he have his underwear down too? Did he change those with each shift, or was there another reason? We decided we didn't need to know.

I've just decided that the latter of these two stories makes up for Dumb calling me Wrecking Ball. He got his in the end. hehe

I totally want a gnome like this!

My pal over at Secret Life of Tova Darling talked about one of her awkward school girl crushes this time, it's a hoot so you should check her out! If you would like to partake in this weeks installment of Totally Awkward Tuesday, leave me a comment with a link back to your post. I'll put it at the bottom of this one so everyone can see!

Until next time. Peace out yo!

This 'n' That But Not Much Else

Howdy folks! Wow I'm so sorry about the time lapse. It has been so sunny and gorgeous outside here in Juneau that I just haven't had the motivation to think up something creative.

It's still sunny out, well not right now because it's 11:24pm, but it is still darn warm. It's been more than a week with consistent temperatures in the high 70s and low 80s. And just for the record, I still haven't come up with something creative!

On Tuesday I played hooky from work and Tim had the day off so we took the kids over to Twin Lakes for some swimming. It felt so great and I didn't even go all the way in! Tim took a dive into the water and the kids sat in it, but I only went up to my thighs cuz I didn't want to take off my shorts to reveal a swimsuit. Eeyuck! You don't want to see that! lol

After some swimming we went to Costco for some smoothies because let's face it, Costco has pretty good smoothies for less than $2 and there's a ton in the cup! We''re in an economic crisis here people!

Other than the couple hours we took the kids out that day, we haven't done anything real exciting.

Let me get you up to speed since it's been like 3 weeks since we've talked....

1. Found a new day care for the kiddos, they seem to really like it and they like having other children their age to play with. I'm still crossing my fingers that we made the right decision.

2. The fourth of July:

We took the kids to the fireworks on the 3rd (yes. Juneau rolls like that). This was a mistake cuz they don't start til midnight and we had a real cranky young man the next morning.

On the 4th was the parade downtown. However, since my son was cranky enough to punch me, he stayed home with his daddy while I took Fia to the parade. That right there was pretty odd. I didn't like the feeling of leaving some of the fam behind. I guess he shaped up after we left, so we all went to the beach after the parade to attempt swimming. But the tide wasn't out far enough and the beach we chose is really rocky and covered in barnacles/seaweed which is slippery and sharp! So no swimming. The kids were sad, but they got over it. haha I'm so mean.

hmm let's see.

3. Reagan has continued to be aggressive and surly. No real news there, just more of the same.

4. Sofia is SOOO close to being potty trained. I can't tell you how excited I am to get rid of diapers! Not too much longer for that wish to come true. Yay!

5. Um, did I mention the sun? Yah, it's super sunny everyday and warm! Actually, I could go for just one day of rain as a reprieve. Then we can get back to the summer weather. I'd be good with one cloudy/rainy day a week just to break up the heat a bit. Also, I got a sunburn...it's faded now, but I looked like a lobster from the chest up.

6. Had our last Relay for Life team meeting on Wednesday this week. Well it's the last before the actual Relay. I can't believe it's next week! Ack, seriously slacking on the fundraising. As a team we've raised a bit more than $1500, but personally I've only raised maybe $30 on my own. I need to get crack-a-lackin!

7. Tim and I have talked and talked about where our lives are going. I really want to move back to Seattle some time in the next year, but Tim seems to want to stay here. We're working on it.

8. I was talking with my co-workers today that it's already mid July! Crap, it's almost fall, which means it's almost the holidays...ok that's a stretch, but fo' realz yo, it's coming up fast!

9. I've been reading the blogs of all my pals via my mobile phone. I can access google reader on the go! Yippee! So even when I'm out playing or waiting in the car while Tim runs into a store I can keep up with all the happenings without actually turning on the computer... I think this may be a partial contributor to my laziness when it comes to blogging.

10. How could I forget? My favorite artist/entertainer/musician MJ passed away. Luckily I got to check out the televised memorial (and cry my eyes out) on the day I played hooky...hehe. That wasn't planned, but it worked out well for me. I am still saddened by the loss, and I am really getting tired of the media coverage, let the man rest in peace. It's sickening really. Whatever the cause of death was doesn't matter to the world that loved him. Let the family deal with it and focus on the sweet children he left behind. Poor kids.

Ok. I'm done on that rant...sorry I digress.

11. Lastly, I'm applying for a second job. Actually I have an interview Monday. In some serious need for extra cash due to new child care being more than double what we used to pay, and I have bill collector's breathing down my neck. So for now it looks like I'll be picking up a couple extra shifts somewhere soon. Very soon. Well, hopefully.

So I think that now you may be all caught up in my life. This is thrilling stuff I know. Can't contain yourself? Tell me about it. Please! I'm longing for some exciting comments. Also just to keep you from being bored, here's a list of some of my fave blogs, check 'em out for me, tell them I said "hi":

• Angie at A Book A Day (witty, funny and great book reviews! This crazy chica actually finds the time to do just what the title implies...she reads a book a day...)
• MyLittleBecky at I'll Go Eat Worms (hilarious, check out her out..she cracks me up!)
• Maxie at I Hate So Much.. (Check out her Too Much Information Thursdays! It'll make you crap your pants...ahem. figuratively speaking of course)
• A shout out to my sis, she doesn't keep up on her blog (she's slower than me!) but she always comes up with something witty, clever and funny! Oh You Pretty Thing....
• And of course, I've told you about Tova at The Secret Life of Tova Darling, she's still awesome.
  

Not sure if some of the other peeps in my fam dam want the recognition or not, but I enjoy their posts too. For more interesting people (that must be cool, cuz I read them!) check out the list up and to your right. ------->

Peace out my homies! I'm in a silly mood and need to get off this thing before my eyes pop out of their sockets! I leave you with something to make you laugh (trust me, this wasn't the worst shot, but I'm not going to humiliate myself for the sake of a laugh)...