Tuesday, June 9, 2009

You've Got a Friend

Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
~James Taylor~

Well here we are. It's a quarter after 10 tonight and I was cleaning out my yahoo inbox. I've had the same email address for more than 10 years. Let me tell you, I'm real bad about deleting emails. I'm the same way about emails as I am about letters, birthday cards and other mementos, I save them ALL. I always find myself thinking maybe I'd really like to see them again some time in the future when I'm reminiscing. Tim calls me a pack rat and that may be, but he's not getting his hands on my stuff! haha. Actually he's talked me into purging a lot of things like birthday cards from my 2nd birthday and what not, but he's never seen my inbox. hehe.

I have my mail box split up into numerous folders. One for family, my wedding, bill payments, pictures, and friends (and this one is split into sub categories like friends from this job, friends from high school, friends from that job and so on... referring to points in time where I met these friends). It's weird how I organize my chaos, really.

Anyway I was going through one of these sub categories tonight as I am rockin' out to some Huey Lewis and the News (oh yeah, I said it. They're my all time guilty pleasure, ssh!) when I came across several old emails from a small group of old friends that I am lucky enough to have called my pals for a long time. I'm feeling all lovey dovey and nostalgic tonight, so sit back and relax while I talk up my school chums.

With the exception of Rebecca, the names have been abbreviated out of respect for the friends I'm about to talk about. If they read this, they'll know who they are. And for all you others out there, you don't really need to know their real names now do you?

First, there's Rebecca, and if you are an avid reader of this blog, you've met her once before. She was my best buddy in school as you may remember.

Then there was A.B, I didn't meet her until high school when she moved to town from Florida, but we became fast friends.

J.D.M, well J.D.M honestly wasn't much of a friend until after high school when we realized we had much more in common than we thought, however he hung out in the same group as me then. He dated A.B for a time and teased me relentlessly.

His best friend was B.M. I harbored a small crush on B.M for a while. I'd known him since middle school and he was a nice guy. Although, at times I questioned my thoughts because he was good friends with the one guy that made times tough on me.

I had other people I palled around with, but these four are the center of today's story.

I will begin with A.B. She was a lot of fun, and I'll admit that most of the time I was jealous of her. She was cute and had no trouble getting boyfriends, something I wanted very badly at the time. We met one night when I was with Rebecca at the local Coast Guard hangout (Buoy Deck!). Rebecca's mom worked there as a bartender and we were hanging out in the game area. A.B's dad was in the Coast Guard and Rebecca's mom was actually the one to introduce Becca and I to A.B. She was the new girl in town and she wanted us to show her around. A.B lived in Juneau about three years before her dad was stationed back to Florida. A.B actually graduated from our high school a year early so she would not have to attend her senior year at a new school. I admired her for doing that because I wasn't as motivated to do something like that. At times I struggled to even attend some classes. I missed her a lot my senior year.

When A.B moved back to Florida we lost touch, even though I looked for her off and on over the years. Then finally through the magic of myspace, I found her again! She's recently had a baby girl who is the cutest thing ever!

Rebecca I've talked about before, she was my best friend. At times her and A.B didn't always get along and I think a lot of it was that they were both popular with the same boys. A lot of our guy friends in our little clique at one time liked both girls. Ha. So there was a little tension at times. Even though they didn't always get along, I was always friends to both of them.

Of course, Rebecca and I still talk. I love her like a sister and she will be in my wedding (when that finally happens). I will never lose track of her because I would be devastated to do so. She has a little girl that just turned two. Her Auntie Candice loves her and wishes her mommy would bring her for another visit. Hint Hint.

J.D.M is a good example of a boy that at one time or another liked both girls. I believe he dated both at one point. Just not at the same time. As I said, he gave me a hard time, he wasn't mean to me but he really liked to pick on me. Secretly, I may have enjoyed it, because lets face it, at least he was paying attention! J.D.M and I were only friends by association at first. It wasn't until the first Christmas break after graduation that he became one of my very good friends. Somehow he was talked into picking me up for a party and we were catching up in his truck. On the ride to the party we found out we had something in common and he was shocked. Of course I didn't share all the details of my story with him, just the basics. That was enough.

When J.D.M was stationed in Japan with the Marines, I talked to him via email and even on the phone (I bought international calling cards quite a bit). Over time we got to know each other very well and I grew to love him. I mistook that love for a time, to mean that I was IN love with him, but I figured it out when he came home from Japan. By this time I had left school in Seattle and was in Juneau again. I was so excited for him to come home. I had these big plans to confess my love and I was sure I had a chance. He'd told me that I was one of his only friends to talk to him while he was away, he loved me too. When he brought me a gift from Japan (which I'm pretty sure I still have....hey, I'm a pack rat remember?) I may have said something, I can't remember how it went down, to be quite honest. Well it turns out that you can love someone without actually being IN love with them, I was 18 when I figured that out. J.D.M let me down gently, and we parted as friends. Don't worry, it wasn't long before I moved on and found a new young love, and one that actually returned the favor!

J.D.M has been back and forth from Iraq quite a few times now. I understand he just returned from his third tour. Lives in CO now with his own family. I haven't talked to him in a while, we sort of lost touch between his deployments and life moving on. We emailed briefly last summer about our 10 year reunion.

B.M was that one guy. I had this one frivolous crush on a popular guy in school (DP forever!! lol) but that was just silly school girl stuff and let's face it, DP was the most unattainable crush for me there was. We did dance together once, but that, dear readers is another story. But B.M, I'd known him for years. In middle school he used to tease me, but in a normal way. It's funny because we only started hanging out in the same group because he was friends with J.D.M, and J.D.M dated A.B in 10th grade. B.M's family were friends with Rebecca's family (Coast Guard circles) and when B.M's family moved away one year, he moved into Becca's spare bedroom to continue the school year. Since I practically lived at her house, I saw him a LOT. He was like a brother to Rebecca and I secretly loved going over there because I knew he'd be there.

He was nice to me then, but really kept to himself most of the time. I found out later that he'd considered asking me out at one time, but decided it wasn't worth the risk of embarrassment. I mentioned being chubby right? B.M was too, but in an acceptable way. He is tall and all...and well, a boy. I guess he was worried about what people would think about the two chubby kids dating. To this day I don't think it would have been as bad as he thought. But the psyche of a teenage boy's mind is not something I'm about to ponder right now.

B.M has just graduated law school. I am so proud of him. We don't talk a ton these days, he's been busy with school and recently became engaged to a really gorgeous blond girl I've never met, but have seen pictures of on Facebook. He's doing real well for himself, and I am excited for him. I may have scared him off a few years ago by telling him that I wish we'd been more at one time. I don't know why I insist on dwelling on what "could have been" but I tend to do so. There was a spark at one time between us, but our lives led us down different paths. C'est la vie. I don't think I truly scared him off, but he probably questioned my sanity, considering I hadn't seen him in more than 5 years at the time.

So was there really a point in introducing you all to the characters from my early chapters? Not really. There is no story per say. But at least the ground work is set for future ventures into my life.

I was reading the emails I mentioned earlier and found one where we were all professing our love for one another and how we really need to keep in touch. It goes to show how naive we are just out of high school, our hopes are high that things won't change that much. I don't think we fathom what really happens. I remember we had this big plan to go to Vegas once we ALL turned 21. Rebecca was the youngest of the four of us, but when her 21st came and went we were spread across the country actually, the world. It never came to fruition. I'm still holding on to that dream though, wouldn't that be funny if a bunch of middle aged friends reuniting after 20 years? Wow. um 20 years isn't that far away come to think of it...yikes!

There was another email written more recently (well, if you consider 2006 recent) and that love was still expressed in. In this email was a phrase expressed by one, but I think, felt by all: "I love you all and miss you more than I even know. I hope this finds you all well and in good spirits and health. God bless you all!"

I think I reciprocate that sentiment.

Ok, this picture is really kinda hilarious and perfect! I decided to pour through my old pictures to see if I could find one suitable for today's blog post. Low and behold I found a picture from years ago, taken at a party. In this picture is all four of the friends I discussed tonight playing Twister (conveniently, I am the one taking the picture so you can't see me. This is a strategy used many a time by myself to avoid unsightly photos) From front to back is J.D.M, A.B, Becca, and B.M. It is the perfect pic because their faces are hidden. Well, except for J.D.M and Becca, but that's ok I think. The picture quality isn't great, I took a picture of this picture with my cell phone because my scanner isn't hooked up to the laptop and I don't really want to figure that out right now.

Good night and remember Ralph Waldo Emerson said it best: "To have a good friend is one of the highest delights of life".

1 comment:

  1. You're not very sneaky with the initials....especially when your sisters know everything! mwuhhahaha..... :)